Resolute
by epic how
Summary: She's always been able to suppress her crush. When he finds out she doesn't have feelings for Eric, Callen finds himself unable to do the same. Will include: Kensi/Deeks, Eric in a club, a sick animal, mentions of Kensi trauma, and Nell and Deeks on a date. Sam is appalled by all of the above.
1. 10 Days Ago

**Not sure if/when this fits in the show's timeline. May be too AU because there's not enough awkward Eric/Nell in it. Definitely before kissy-fish.**

* * *

**10 days ago. 9:07am. OSP**

"Morning,"

"Hey," she replies, distracted, as she makes her way to her desk . "Sorry I'm late." The guilt over the pact they made just 3 days ago-coming in early and staying late _until this case is closed_—is evident on her face.

"No worries. Traffic?" Eric asks, always willing to be understanding.

The word makes her think of the women they haven't rescued. Nell pauses, locks eyes with him. _Is this the moment?_ She pushes the thought away. _I'm at work. Kensi is our priority now_. Kensi, Sam, and the human trafficking operation they were hopefully going to end **today**.

"No. No traffic."

"Okay," he says, easily moving on. "The material you sent this morning is already on the boards for the briefing. Looks like Hetty and Callen were up all night too. Have you seen what they sent?"

"After 2am? No," she says standing and walking to one of the smart boards to review fresh intel. "Have you seen Marty yet?"

"Looks like someone kicked his dog."

His words, this sentiment, shock her out of the fog she's been in since her encounter in the laundry room this morning.

Hurt. Helplessness. Anger. Nell didn't pass Deeks on her way in, but she's certain Eric is right.

She rushes back beside him and leans in. "Listen Eric, Kensi and Sam come first. Getting them out of there and shutting this thing down is what I'm focusing on. Or _will_ in about 30 seconds."

"But?"

"But I need you to do a background check for me. Please?"

"You're pretty good at getting dirt, Nell. What kind of background check can I do that you can't?"

Nell gives Eric a look.

"Oh! You mean _background_, like a not-at-work background? So what, hack his computer? His phone? Who is this guy anyway? I'm guessing he's not an NCIS priority."

"Man. Early thirties. I'm texting you his picture now. His name is Mitchell Hardy. He lives in my building."

"So he's a Nell Jones priority?" Eric asks jovially, trying to cover his jealousy with teasing.

"He is now," she replies menacingly.

"Yeah," Eric holds up his phone showing he saw the picture. He tries to diffuse her tension with a joke, "This joker does not look like your type."

"Type! I don't have a type!" she exclaims with the first real smile she's had on her face in three days.

Nell feels like her life is a bad sit-com when Callen and Deeks choose this moment to storm into Ops.

Eric miraculously holds his tongue, but Nell doesn't miss the evil glint in his eyes or his comically pursed lips.

"We're all here. Let's just get started," Callen addresses his skeleton crew. He turns to the boards. "Where are we?"


	2. Pizza

He cups one hand around his mouth to make a megaphone. "Pizza's here!" Callen yells into the women's locker room.

"I'm right here, Callen," comes an easily identifiable voice.

"Sorry, Nell. I didn't see you for the boxes," he replies as he shifts five pizza boxes back into both hands. "Nice robe."

Nell chuckles. She knows she looks ridiculous. She's wearing a tattered pink terrycloth robe that drags to the floor. In one hand she's holding a shower caddy and she was using the other hand to cover the ear closest to him.

"It's either this or put back on sweaty running clothes from the beach."

"You that hungry? Can't wait to finish your shower?"

Nell places her shampoo filled basket by the door to the locker room and realizes Callen is waiting for her. "Deeks is in there."

"With Kensi?" Callen asks, a mischievous grin threatens.

"Standing guard," she corrects him as she reaches out for some boxes. He shakes his head 'no' and they both make a few steps toward the bullpen.

"You talk to her yet?" he asks. All teasing aside.

"I haven't even seen her," Nell says sadly.

"She'll be okay, Nell. Kens is tough. I'm probably more worried about her partner."

Nell wants to agree. Wants to tell Callen she heard Kensi wailing from the showers and ran toward the sound only to be stopped by a tearful Deeks. He shushed her and made her turn around and leave without saying a word.

"Marty's tough too, Callen."

He sees something in her eyes. A lie? No, more like ferocity. He wants to smile at this, but the events of the day, the last two weeks, keep his face neutral.

"G."

"What?" she asks.

"If you can call him Marty, you can call me G, you know."

She blushes. She can't help it. It's the instant reaction anytime her insanely good looking boss says anything complimentary. Or kind. Or flirty? She thinks he knows and is just enjoying the blush-frustration-comeback cycle she is perfecting.

Nell opens her mouth but is cut off. "Are you really coming to dinner wearing that?" Callen exhales loudly before adding, "Eric is going to blow a gasket."

She stops in her tracks and looks down at herself. All her assets are covered. The loose robe starts at her neck and an extra foot of material flows past her arms and legs. There is nothing to see!

"Not you too," she moans. "You were my last holdout, Callen! I thought you of all people were above office gossip."

"Why me 'of all people?' I'm down. I know the score."

"Just stop. Let me be clear: there is nothing going on with me and Eric."

"Of course there isn't, but it doesn't mean you have to torture the poor guy."

"I'm not out to torture him! Can't you just believe that I'd prefer to eat in this dry robe than my gross workout clothes? Here, just give me a pizza and I'll go eat in ops."

"And open you up to Hetty's wrath?" he says with a smirk. " Not a chance. My team's been through enough. Let's eat."

They take a few more steps towards the desks, but the others can't see or hear them yet. "What did you mean 'of course there isn't?'" Nell asks quietly. "Eric's the best. I know it. I know you all know it. Each time one of you bugs me about us—and you were the last, but FYI the team is batting a thousand —I feel like I'm letting you all down."

Callen stopped and looked at Nell. "You're not letting anyone down, Nell. Hetty didn't add you to our team to date Eric. She saw your talents and your potential and knew, like we do now, we'd be a better team with you beside us. I'm sorry—it was a thoughtless comment. I didn't know everyone was on your case about him."

"No one's on my case. And of course I _tried_. I really did. I just can't see myself like that with him. We've talked about it. He knows. And I feel foolish for not liking someone as great as Eric, but you can't just pick who you're attracted to."

"No you can't." The way Callen said this a little too quickly made Nell blush again.

She pushed ahead in speech and in deed, "Seriously? 'I'm down?' 'Blow a gasket?' Who are you and what have you done with our super-suave-super-spy?"

"Pay attention," Callen whispers as they make their way to Sam and Eric in the bullpen. "As soon as he realizes you aren't wearing anything under that robe, smoke will come out of his ears."

They were too close to the others—and Nell was too shocked—to reply.

"Where's Deeks?" Sam asks as they approach. "I thought he was getting the pizza."

"Change of plans," Callen replied. "He's cooling off in the showers." Nell noticed a look pass between Sam and Callen, but it was too quick to catch the importance. "Eric, you picked up the beer?"

"Right here," he said tossing one to the team leader. He held one out for Nell.

"Thanks partner," she says as she sits on Kensi's desk beside Eric and takes the drink.

"Nice….kicks," Eric says as he motions to her shower flip-flops. They both ignore Eric's growing blush. Nell purses her lips, refusing to raise her eyes to Callen's knowing stare.

Callen and Sam arrange the pizzas on a desk and all four enjoy food and beer for a few minutes.

"Did you get a sunburn?" Nell asks Eric noticing the redness of his arms and feet as well as his face.

"A little. I usually surf in the mornings, so I didn't think about sunscreen. I didn't think about anything really…"

He trails off and Nell pipes up, "We went to the beach," she told Sam and Callen. "What did you guys do?' _While Deeks took Kensi to the hospital._

"I kicked Sam's ass."

"Excuse me? I think that last knock to your head caused some amnesia, cause I kicked _your_ ass."

"So you sparred?" Nell asks suppressing a grin.

"They sparred, they ran, and they even climbed my wall," came a strong new voice.

"Want some pizza, Hetty?"

"Or beer?"

"No thank you, gentlemen. Despite Miss Byle's request, I have plans for the evening."

As the mission came to an end early this afternoon, Kensi, cool as ice, told the team told the team through her com she wanted pizza, beer, and everyone to dance at a club called Departure. No one was about to argue.

"What did you do, Hetty?" Nell asks. "Beach." She motions to Eric and herself. "Fight," she points to Callen and Sam. "What did you do?"

"I saw the women to the proper authorities. They are getting medical care now and eventually will be taken to their countries of origin. I ensured our team got medical attention as well. And then I had some tea, Miss Jones."

"Not scotch?"

"There will be time for that later, Mr. Callen. First, I must report to Director Vance. Enjoy your evening everyone. And the weekend. A job well done."

As she is speaking, Deeks appears in the bullpen. "That goes for you as well, Mr. Deeks. A job well done." She appraises his appearance and adds, "Everything you asked for has been arranged. Your presence will be missed. Let us know if we can be of any assistance to your endeavors."

"Thanks Hetty. I will," he says sadly as she left. Before letting his team comment on their exchange, he summons all his energy and says, "All right, pizza!"

Deeks digs into a box, but instead of taking a slice, he adds combinations of several pizzas to one box.

"You got a little lipstick on your face, Deeks" Sam observes from his desk.

Deeks put the pizza down and touches his lips lightly as the crowd watches him get lost in a memory.

"Um, actually that was me," Nell says standing.

To the chorus of 'what?' 'no way,' and scoffing, she marches over to Deeks and wipes away a smudge of pink lipstick on his cheek.

"What?" she defends herself, "Marty was being a sweetheart." When she saw how much pain he was in listening to Kensi cry, Nell couldn't help but try to comfort the man.

"Yeah, 'Marty was being a sweetheart'," Deeks mimics proudly eyeing the other men.

"Sorry," Nell says shyly.

"Anytime, Nell Bell," Deeks replies now in full bravado. "Nice robe, by the way."

"Okay," Callen says cutting off the exchange. "Where's Kens?"

"She's getting dressed. She said she wants to meet us at the club, and she asked you," Deeks says handing Nell the pizza box he was arranging, "to come eat with her in the locker room while you're both getting ready."

"Here, take some of the beers she asked for," Eric says standing and bringing her a 6-pack.

Deeks makes a face as he eyes the bottles of beer and and the one Nell is holding in her hands. He takes the carrier from Eric and places three of the beers on his desk. He takes the opened beer from Nell's hand and adds it to the carrier and gives this to her.

"Women take long enough getting ready as it is," he explains with a shrug.

"Okay, then. I'll see you guys there," Nell says as she arranges her cargo and turns to leave.

"Take a cab!" Sam calls to her in his fatherly voice.

* * *

A/N: To be updated weekly.

If you're kind enough to review (**thanks!** and), please play along. Include an * and your least favorite fan fiction cliche. I'll go first:

*anything resembling the phrase "come up for air"

If yours is *adverbs. Please save yourself the grief and stop reading this story. (apologies to all writing teachers who taught me they are for the lazy writer. I listened, I just can't comply. Here I am, planting my flag in the land of lazy.)


	3. Departure

**Finished early, so I posted. Though it should be Tuesdays from here on. This chapter goes best with techno music.**

* * *

"I don't understand why she would want to come to a place like this after all she's gone through," Eric mused looking around the club. The beat of the loud techno music was altering his heartbeat, he was sure.

It took Eric a few seconds to realize the others didn't reply because they were surveying their surroundings with keener eyes.

The men were seated in a large booth on the second floor. Their table was arranged by a balcony overlooking the dance floor and next to one of the four bars. They were close to a staircase as well as an emergency exit. The three other men all took note of the exits, security cameras, dark corners then turned their gazes to Eric.

"You haven't been to a place like this with Kensi before, have you Eric?" Callen asks with a smug look.

"No. I mean I've seen you guys on the cameras of course when you're on an op. And we've all been to bars together. But no, not a club like this. Why?"

"Think about what this op must have been like for her," Sam guides him. "A place like this gives her exactly what she didn't have for the last two weeks."

"Fun?" Eric asks meekly.

"Power," Deeks says firmly.

"A woman like Kensi is the top of the food chain in this environment," says Sam.

"It's not because she's the most beautiful woman in the room either," starts Callen.

"Doesn't hurt though," Deeks chimes in.

Sam and Callen snicker good-heartedly.

"It's all about her attitude," continues Callen. "You'll see. Something changes in her when she's in a place like this. It's compelling." Deeks nods.

"Not that she can't hold her own anywhere," Sam amends. Eric and Callen nod.

"Yeah, but when we dress her up and send her into a compound and ask her to be weak…" Deeks begins to fume.

"Reign it in Deeks," Callen commands sternly. Then he politely offers a subject change, "Tell us about what LAPD will have you do tomorrow."

Deeks sighs and tries to relax. "Old alias. Drug sting. The usual. It may take a while though. Think Kensi's benched for more than a week?"

"That depends," says Eric. "I placed that call to Nate. Is that what Hetty was talking about?"

"I think so. You guys sure he's the right guy for this? I don't know him like you do, but I think Kensi trusts him."

This was news to Sam and Callen, but it made sense. "He's a good man," says Sam. "She won't have the same walls with Nate she'd have with another shrink. That was a smart move, Deeks."

"Don't let her go back in without me," Deeks pleads taking a sip, not making eye contact, as he eyes the front door for about the 40th time in ten minutes.

"That's not our call," says Callen. "But we'll never let her go out if she's not ready or without having her back."

"That's the most I could hope for, I suppose," says Deeks. He sputters and says, "I take it back, _that_ is the most I could hope for," as he nods toward the front door.

Kensi was stunning. She wore a scandalously short white dress with an asymmetrical strap. Her tall black heels and severe ponytail made her look even more statuesque than usual.

"Kensi saw us in her first sweep," Sam announces, "Now watch the fireworks, Eric."

"I thought Nell was coming," complains Deeks.

The men turn to look at him like he's insane.

"What?" Deeks asks now straining again to look at the door. "That's Nell? No way!"

"Some detective," mutters Callen.

Nell is wearing a tight green halter dress and is holding a small black clutch. Long black earrings dangle almost to her shoulders. The women are making a lap through the lower level. The men notice Nell is strutting in her heels, adopting Kensi's brazen attitude. And they aren't the only ones taking note.

"I didn't think…" Deeks shakes his head clear. "I mean, usually she wears stuff that's flouncy, you know?"

"Flouncy?" Sam asks. "Deeks, if you still had a man-card, it would be revoked."

"I'm going to get their drinks," Deeks says standing, "Eric, what does Nell drink?"

"I, uh…"

"Vodka," supplies Callen. Who, like Eric, is still watching the women taking their time getting to them. Sam looks at him like he's showing off; Callen just shrugs.

"Be right back."

By the time Deeks makes it back to the table, Kensi and Nell have arrived. No one is seated. Everyone is hugging hello and complimenting attire. The group is leaning against the balcony railing.

"Thanks Deeks," says Nell as she is handed something in a martini glass.

"Callen said vodka."

"Callen was right," Nell says, impressed, raising her glass to Callen.

He winks and smirks. Always with the smirks. She hopes makeup and the lighting cover her now pinker cheeks.

"Thanks Deeks," says Kensi taking a long drink of JD then placing the glass on the table. "But I really don't want to sit and chat right now. I'm dancing and need a partner," she says meeting eyes with each of her companions.

Deeks is grinning. She can almost hear his silent _'pick me, pick me.'_

Kensi shakes her head 'no' at her real partner and locks eyes with Sam.

Sam chuckles. Kensi walks over to him and places a kiss on his temple.

"Thanks for being there for me," she tells Sam who posed as a bodyguard for the man she was supposedly in a relationship with. "For that, you are excused from dancing duties."

Her eyes turn to Callen next.

"Chapstick? Really?" says Deeks motioning to Callen. "I think you should revoke _his_ man card, Sam."

Kensi laughs. She's told Callen a hundred times she hates the smell of that chapstick. She knows he's not-so-subtly getting out of dancing duties.

"It's not 'delicate' like yours. It's manly. It stings even," his tells Deeks while his eyes twinkle at Kensi.

"It stinks like medicine," she replies with a laugh. "You're exempt."

Her eyes fall on Nell next. "You already promised me a dance, I'll see you out there. So it looks like it's you and me," Kensi tells Eric as she takes his hand.

"Nice shoes by the way," she says as they leave the team. Eric gives his friends a parting look of terror as he escorts Kensi down the nearest staircase.

"I'm actually going to dance too. Is anyone staying?" Nell asks holding up her purse.

Sam takes it as he moves back toward the booth. "G and I will keep it safe."

Her flushed cheeks return briefly as she interprets Callen's look as one of regret.

Deeks rescues her though. "Looks like it's you and me, hot stuff. Let's cut a rug!"

Nell laughs and places her drink on the table. "See you, fellas!"

* * *

"Go dance with Nell," Kensi tells Eric when she catches him looking over her shoulder for his friend. They've danced together for a several minutes and she's surprised he's not as spaz-like on the dance floor as she feared.

"Nah, she looks like she's having fun with Deeks," Eric says turning back to Kensi. His smile falls when he sees her serious scowl. "Uh, hey, I think I'll go dance with Nell," he says as if it was his plan all along.

"Yeah," Kensi says dancing by herself as she waits for the exchange.

Predictably, Deeks makes his way to Kensi. "Thought you were at least going scandalize Beale with a few more songs, Kens."

She wraps both arms around his neck and turns him around to face the way he came. Kensi is still dancing to the strong beat and Deeks hesitantly joins her. "Yeah, and how was _that_ going to happen if I did." Her head gestures behind them.

"Look at you, Matchmaker," he croons.

"Shut up and dance, Deeks."

"Yes ma'am," he says with a smile.

He loves seeing her like this. Free, wild. Happy. She loves this music and here, outside of her car or an op, he can see why. There's very little to think about or analyze; moving is all that is important. Something is off though. Kensi's dancing too close, pushing past all the walls and boundaries she's carefully built around their…partnership. Any other day and he'd take every advantage given to him and probably push for more. Deeks feels like it's cheating tonight; she's too vulnerable. It takes stupendous effort, but he keeps his hands high on her waist, or on her arms, or twirling her hands around. Always stepping back when she pushes against him.

After a good fifteen minutes, she silently shakes her head at him with a pout and moves away. The speed at which another man begins dancing with her causes whiplash.

He knew this would happen. The minute she voiced her destination choice, Deeks knew he was either going to be a self-hating cad or he'd watch her go home with another man.

A petite blond is making eyes at him now. He's motionless and sad in a sea of gyrating bodies, yet this short-haired beauty in a gray dress shoots him a smile that causes a reciprocal gesture in his own features. She closes the distance and they're dancing. She's—_it's all_—hot. The blond girl looks back over her shoulder at Deeks and they both laugh.

His frivolity is cut short. He's pulled back by a hand on his shoulder. Deeks readies to defend himself. It seems Blondie came with some strings. Instead, he spins and finds his partner. She looks devastated.

"Kens!" he says dropping his hold on the blond immediately. "I thought—"

"Come here," she says tugging his elbow. Kensi pulls him off the dance floor. She roughly pushes him against a column.

All he wants in life is for her to kiss him now. Vulnerabilty be damned.

"Watch and learn," she tells him cryptically as she returns to the dance floor.

Within seconds, she's dancing with someone new but her eyes are locked onto Deeks. As the man wraps his arms around her to grip her ass, Kensi moves his arms higher and continues dancing. He doesn't last the whole minute. As the guy drops his hands again, she whispers something to him and steps on his toes so hard she makes him scream.

Kensi saunters off the dance floor and back to Deeks.

"What did you learn?" she whispers against his ear gripping his shirt.

"That you're deadly? That you're a tease?" He says leaning towards her hoping to land a kiss.

She pulls away. "You knew both of those already. Try again."

Deeks watches as she dives back into the mass of bodies. This time as another man kisses Kensi's neck from behind while they dance. Deeks makes a move to intervene, but before he can leave his post, Kensi waves him off. She turns around, shaking up their positions and continues to dance with the man. When he tries to move in for another kiss, Kensi pushes him forcefully into a large man behind them and walks away.

"Things I already knew," Deeks counts off on his fingers as she returns to him, "every man in this place wants you. All men are pigs. You're fair, you gave them both a free pass. No one is sexier than you. You don't need me to take care of you. Men only want one thing. You look good enough to eat in that dress—"

She cuts him off, "Okay, what did you _learn_, Deeks."

"That you didn't want him to touch you or to kiss you."

"You're getting warmer," she whispers before pushing him back into the post.

"Ain't I just," he mumbles to himself.

Now, Kensi flits threw the pack of bodies dancing riotously as she goes. As much as she can, her eyes stay glued to Deeks. Any man that gets close enough to hold her gets passed quickly. When she finally does get accosted, the man goes straight for a breast and her ass.

Deeks winces before it even happens. He knows Kensi won't give this guy a warning.

As she comes back to him, he says, "I already knew you could handle anything, Kens. And I also knew you go for the groin when necessary."

"You really are a bad student, Deeks. Still nothing?"

"No, I learned something," he says pulling her close to him. "You're tired of strangers touching you, hurting you, you want to be with someone safe."

"Someone safe!" she yells at him, pushing him away. "I don't want to be with someone safe, you moron. I want to be with you!"

* * *

An exhausted Eric joins Sam and Callen in the booth.

"Worn out?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, I'm headed home."

"It's 10:30. You got a curfew?"

"I've danced with Kensi, Nell, and three hot strangers. One of whom is meeting me tomorrow for a drink. What have _you_ done in the last hour, Callen?"

Sam laughs. "Talked to me about Russian politics mostly."

"I'm impressed," Callen says holding up his hands in defeat.

"Well, I'm surfing in the morning," Eric says with a smile. "The waves were too crowded this afternoon. I'm crashing soon so I can get the good stuff at dawn. G'night guys."

"Night Eric," they both call.

"I see Kensi has stopped torturing Deeks. Where's Nell?"

"Northeast corner. Guy with a black shirt." Callen says automatically.

"You seem awfully in tune—" Sam began.

"—with the whereabouts of our team members? I am. I also noticed that Eric didn't count four not-so-hot women he danced with."

"How many different guys has Nell danced with?"

"Eleven."

"How many has Kensi?"

After a second of hesitation, Sam said, "G, be careful."

"As she's demonstrated tonight, Kensi can hold her own against jerks. Do you think Nell would fare the same?"

"No but—"

"I counted Eric's too. Don't read into that one either, big guy."

"Who him? The one that thinks we were talking about Russian politics—"

"Nice one, by the way."

"I know. –and not how the light of his life announced to you…"

Sam stops talking when Nell looks up at them from the dance floor.

"That guy in red has circled back to her three times," Callen says talking about the man who was dancing behind her now.

"She wasn't looking up here for me, G," Sam says as he tosses him Nell's purse. Callen stands and tries to reconcile that statement with Sam's warning from a minute ago.

Sam continues, "I'll cover you from here. Once you've got it under control, I'm headed home."

"Night Sam!" Callen calls moving quickly toward the stairs.

"Thanks for calling my wife each night!" he yells back in parting.

* * *

Callen pushes through the swell of people on the dance floor. The noxious music is even louder down here. He looks for the tall guy in red and then sees Nell's auburn hair and green dress. Finding Red Guy behind her, hands tight around her waist pulling her to him caused a primal rage in Callen.

"Stacy!" he calls to her when he's close enough to be heard over the music. Nell looks up, relief evident on her face, and she continues to tug with futile effort at Red Guy's locked arms.

Red straightens up a little as Callen approaches. "Stacy, I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Hey! We're dancing here!" yells Red Guy tightening his grip on Nell as he sees Callen isn't going to relent.

"So I see," Callen says taking out his camera and snapping a picture of the guy, "And you're going to really regret it if you don't take your hands off her right _now_. Three…two…one" he decked Red Guy in the face and pulled Nell behind himself all in one move.

The antagonist made a move to come back at Callen who gave a mirthless laugh and taunted, "_Please._" As if the Red Guy could sense just how many people Callen _hadn't_ got to punch in the face that day, he walks away tending to his bloody lip.

"Hey," he says turning back to Nell with a rakish smile. "You called?"

Nell gives a nervous laugh. "I did?"

"Oh yeah, that," he says pointing to where the man had just been standing, "that was the bat signal."

"The bat signal?"

"Yep. Batting your eyes up at us—works every time."

Nell shoves him playfully for his lame pun, then stops herself. "Hey Callen? Don't be mad—"

He gives her a puzzled look but understands as she steps toward him and hugs him.

Callen signals to Sam the all clear as he feels the woman in his arms relax.

"Thanks G," he hears her mumble into his shirt. Then he feels himself relax.

He holds her for a minute more, stillness in the middle of chaos, before he says, "How 'bout a drink, Nell?"

She nods and lets him go completely. Callen freezes momentarily at how empty this makes him feel. Nell walks toward the nearest bar and he follows.

She leans onto the bar and Callen notices she is shaking slightly. He places a hand on her shoulder, though the thought of touching her cream colored back was enticing. _Reign it in_, he tells himself like he told Deeks, before asking her, "What would you like to drink?"

"Just water," she says still looking down at the countertop.

Callen rubs her shoulder, hoping to comfort her or at least warm her up. "Two waters please," he tells the bartender.

With drinks in one hand, he steers her toward another booth, this time on the first level. He sits beside her and slides her drink over. She stares at the table for a solid minute. When she takes a sip she shivers even more.

"Can we get out of here?" she says abruptly.

"Sure." Callen slides out and casts a glance to the dance floor to tell Kensi or Deeks they've all gone, but he doesn't see them. He knows Deeks will take care of Kensi tonight, so he'll worry about one girl at a time. Presently, all his attention is given to the one he's helping out of the booth.

He braces himself for rejection, but puts his arm around her waist as they make their way out of the club. Nell doesn't protest, if anything she leans into him. The warm summer air changes her. She visibly relaxes and takes a few deep breaths once they are outside.

They walk for a few blocks and Nell seems to calm with each step. "Let's sit," he says moving them through an entrance to a small park.

"Hey," he says quietly as they take a seat, "so this reaction: this is normal. Shock makes you feel jumbled and weak for a few minutes. But it's going to pass completely. And we're just going to ride it out right here."

Nell pulls away from Callen—her boss—who is holding her and whispering comforting words. She's wearing the sexy dress Kensi picked from Hetty's stash, with permission of course, and he looks amazing as always in his black button down. If she wasn't already in shock, she would be now.

Nell surprises them both when she leans up and kisses Callen on the cheek. "For being a sweetheart," she says quietly before he can ask.

It's impossible. G. Callen does not blush. But if her senses hadn't just been playing tricks on her with the hot and cold thing, she would have sworn that's what just happened. _About time we start getting even._

"Listen," Callen says as he uncoils from around her. Both are silently disappointed by the absence of contact. He puts his hands on his legs in front of him with a sigh. "That guy," he begins as he bravely takes one of Nell's hands. He wraps her small soft hand into both of his and holds it at his knee. "was never going to hurt you. Do you understand? Sam and I were watching him the whole time. I saw him come around to you three times. I've got his picture now. Kensi and Deeks were right there. We would never let you get hurt, Nell."

"I know that," she says taken aback. "Is that why you think I'm flipping out? That guy grinding on me in there?"

"Isn't it?" Callen says locking eyes with her.

"Of course not!" she exclaims.

Callen was silent for a few seconds replaying the events that led them to this park. "I'm sorry. I missed something. What's going on with you?"

"Kensi!" she says almost manic. "Forty-five seconds of that guy holding me too tight made me want to scream. Or fight. Or kill him. Or wish for one of you to kill him. And I _hate_ when we kill people. It wasn't even a minute. And you guys were right there. I knew you saw me and that I was safe, but I couldn't help but panic. Kensi was in there with that psychopath for _two weeks, _Callen."

Callen winces. "Kensi's trained, Nell. She's prepared for this for years. It's different."

"It may be different, but this is nothing she was trained for. You didn't hear everything that happened. When Hetty cut you guys off—"

At this, he pulls away from her and began pacing, "—I was the one who heard it all. Me and Hetty and Sam."

Callen knew it was bad. He had known it was awful _before_ Hetty made Eric disable their earwigs and banished him from Ops. The first night it happened, he and Deeks had been parked outside the compound where Kensi and Sam were undercover. Both men were livid. Callen had never seen Deeks so silent or angry. By phone, Nell kept telling them Kensi was repeatedly giving the 'I'm safe' code, but the sound of Nell's voice those nights haunted them still.

Hetty was trying to protect Kensi's dignity. The bedroom she was staying in had NCIS cameras and microphones, but Hetty didn't want Kensi's team to see her in compromising positions. That's not what Deeks, Callen, and even Eric thought though. Ops turned into a battleground. The men who were cut off from access asserted Hetty didn't want them to know all the facts, that Kensi was taking on more than she should alone, that Kensi was too proud to back out voluntarily, and 'screw orders we're going in and getting her out right now.'

Nell and Sam gave recitations of "Kensi says she's okay." But she looked and he sounded troubled. Loyalties were tested. Each partnership was splintered.

Nell's ordeal tonight would be awful for any woman. Callen knows the fact that this incident didn't even register with Nell yet it triggered some PTSD reaction from what she had seen and heard meant Kensi—and those who witnessed her—had gone through hell.

Callen paces for a few more minutes as he thought over these events. He slows and again sits beside Nell. Instead of being forceful, Callen holds out a hand upturned to Nell. She gently takes it and pulled his hand to both of hers on her knee.

"Nell, Nate's coming this week to talk to Kensi."

"Good," she exhaled deeply. "I called him last week one night when I couldn't sleep, but I never reached him."

Despite the jealousy that innocent sentence stirred in him, he was glad she tried to reach out to her friend when she needed help.

"I want you to see him too," Callen said softly, but it was still a team-leader command.

"I'm sure we'll get lunch or something one day," Nell said squinting her face and looking at Callen like she knew he wouldn't be pleased.

He laughed lightly, "I think you know that's not what I meant."

Nell sighed. "It's probably not professional that I see Nate as my psychiatrist."

"Wh—"

"Nope," she said putting one hand to his mouth. "No questions on the subject. Think about it. Figure out the most logical reason. Then never speak of it again."

He looked at her with shock in his expression, then his eyes turned down to her hand on his lips and a smirk began to spread.

She pulled her hand away from him and scooted back so that they were no longer touching at all.

Blushing and looking down at her lap, Nell says, "Not now, _obviously_. College. A lifetime ago."

"Then I'm sure Hetty has already made accommodations for you to talk to someone else."

"Ugh, you think Hetty knows who I dated for 2 months my junior year?"

"If you think she doesn't, well, that's just adorable, Nell."

"You think I'm adorable, Callen?" she asks with a smirk. She knows it's been a rough day when she finds herself channeling Deeks.

"Usually," he answers honestly. "Didn't cross my mind tonight," he says letting his eyes trail her body.

"I think it's time you take me home, G," she tells him boldly as she stands and extends her hands to help him up.

* * *

"Look at this," Kensi says to Deeks ear. They're dancing closely now and she turns him to see some of the booths on the bottom floor. Deeks shakes his head, it's hard to think of anything else but the beautiful woman in his arms. His eyes focus on Nell _and Callen_ sitting in a booth drinking water.

"Wow, Eric must have really screwed up if Callen is consoling her. They're leaving—want to go see if we can help?"

"We'll hear about it on Monday, I'm sure," she says pulling them out of Callen's line of sight. _Not that he missed the show_, she muses.

Deeks winces. "Listen, Kens, I've gotta' tell you something."

"It's too loud to talk here," she says softly touching his neck. "Tell me at your house."

* * *

They climb the stairs to her second story apartment. Callen's hand is gently on her back. At her door, Nell finds her key and places it in the lock. He traces his fingers along her arm as she does this. Without opening the door, she turns around to face him.

He smiles at her eager to hear what she will say.

Nell says nothing. Instead she stands on her toes and brushes her lips against his. The sensation is warm and delicate and far too brief. She pulls away and waits.

With a small grin, Callen says, "For being a sweetheart?"

"No," Nell says meeting his bright eyes.

A second of shock passes over his features. Callen leans into Nell as he turns the knob of her front door. She rises to kiss him again. He seems surprised how roughly she grips his shirt and how deep and fierce this kiss becomes. He's kissing _Nell_. As this registers fully, Callen closes his eyes and lets himself hold her like he's always imagined. _Kisses_ her like he's always dreamt he might.

* * *

A/N: What great responses to the *! Sincere apologies to both **ncisloverinnc** (sort of?) and **bluechair244** (twice!, so sorry!). I broke both of yours with this ONE chapter! (I guess that's why they're called clichés…) Hey brave 'Guest'—I'm SO glad you posted about liking what I didn't—it made me feel better about leaving in mine for this chapter.

If you're playing this round, here's a more positive Q: Name a good ff writer or story that is underrated. From this or any genre. You don't have to work hard, just look at your favorites list and tell us about someone we should all read and review who hasn't gotten enough props. Let's use ^ (so you can still add a snarky * if you have one). All shameless self-promotion will be mocked; you were warned.

Here's mine: Anyone reading Nell/Callen loves **^MioneAlterEgo**, but have you read her awesome fic about (the ff gateway drug) HP? You should, it's beautiful. I always enjoy reading authors I like in their 'first love' fandoms and pseudonyms are a good give away.

Also, missing a Kensi/Deeks story by **^in48frames** called 'so good when you're laughing' would be a shame too.

Okay, one more: * 'I suck at summaries' guarantees I will not read your fic. C'mon! Be creative! (isn't that the whole point of this?) On the flip side, I appreciate authors who forewarn me they are not about to put forth any effort.


	4. post-Departure

**Rated T for swears.**

They fall through the door in uproarious laughter. Somehow pushing the door open became another challenge fight over. Playful elbows and bumping hips, a pile of hands on the handle, then both of them fall through together.

"Monty!" they both greet the happy dog at their feet.

"I'll take him outside. Make yourself at home, Cupcake."

"Wait, wait!" she calls as he moves outside with the dog. Kensi steps out of her heels, "I'm going to find something else to wear. Get one last look at this dress before I vacuum seal it for Hetty."

He thinks he'd like to have the dress dusted for prints before she does this, but swallows the comment as he watches her do a dainty barefoot twirl in front of him.

He chuckles.

"What's so funny?"

"I cannot wait until sober Kensi finds out what drunk Kensi has been up to—I'm adding fashion show to the list."

"I _am_ sober Kensi!"

"Those dance moves tonight were sober Kensi? Color me impressed."

"Sober Kensi has _all kinds_ of moves you've never seen," she says with a smile, adding, "Cupcake" as she pushes him toward the steps.

"Oh-ho-ho," he exales. "Be quick about it, Montague. And It ain't the dress I was looking at, Sweetcheeks!" he calls back.

When Deeks and Monty return, the man is dumbfounded. Monty barks happily as Kensi dances to some music she put on. She's making coffee in his kitchen wearing one of his baseball sleeve tees and his boxer briefs. The ensemble makes her dress look like a nun's habit.

"Wow Kens," is all he can manage for a greeting.

"Hope you don't mind," she says coyly shaking out her loose curls.

"Hope _you_ don't mind if I remember this moment for eternity."

"I can help with that," she says as she strides toward him. She places her hands along his collar bones and leans into him as she presses a light kiss to his lips.

Deeks chuckles once as he grins shyly at her. He replies with a heavenly light kiss and all Kensi wants is more. This, their first non-cover kiss, is saying so much more than they have been able to in the last three years as partners. It's surprisingly tender and emotional for both.

Deeks pulls back and spins Kensi around causing her to giggle. A bad-ass who giggles for him alone—how did he get so lucky? He wraps his arms around her waist bringing her back to his chest and she sighs.

He kisses her shoulder then rests his head on it. "I'm so glad you're back home," he murmurs.

"Me too," she says leaning her head on his. "Get some coffee, Deeks. Let's sit and you can tell me all about this undercover op you're leaving for _tomorrow_."

* * *

_This isn't happening._ His lips are soft and insistent.

_It's not possible._ Her sides burn where his fingers leave a trail.

_There is no way he is kissing me _like this_ backing me into my apartment_. His mouth moves to her neck; her quick gasp cheers him on.

The door creaks as it opens behind her. _It's not logical. But it feels __**amazing**__._

"So I guess I'll see you Monday, Agent Callen," she says with a tight smile as she lolls her head for him to join her inside.

Then the wheels fall off.

He detaches from her neck and looks into her eyes.

Nell is giving him a look that blurs the lines of playful and sultry. She can't read the blue eyes gone cold.

_Nell_. His intelligence analyst. His co-worker. Whose taste is still on his lips. Whose hips are still in his grasp.

His hands drop as if scalded.

Nell instinctively crosses her arms across her chest, but her sharp mind has yet to catch up to what her body already perceives. "What's wrong?" she whispers.

"This is a mistake," he says looking at his shoes.

G. Callen doesn't make mistakes and he sure as hell doesn't do non-confrontational. Nell laughs nervously. "What? That was a joke, Callen. A bad joke. About Monday, I mean. Come on in."

"No, Nell," he says meeting her eyes now. He looks so sad and this shocks her as much as his next words, "this was a mistake."

"Was?" she repeats quietly feeling a tornado of astonishment, embarrassment, and anger begin to well within her. "So it's over?" she feels so childish saying this but it's out of her mouth before she can stop herself.

"It never started."

She feels the hot pin-pricks of tears before they start. His awful words are the catalyst for the cyclone inside. "So….what now? I'm dismissed?"

He moves to hold her again, hold himself together so he can say this right, but she spins and pushes him away as she slams the door in his face.

Before she can bolt the lock, Callen is turning the knob.

"Don't!" she yells forcefully as the tears start. "Just leave Callen!"

He lets her lock the door then says, "Nell, can we talk about this?"

She doesn't answer. What more is there to say? She got what she's wanted since she laid eyes on him, and he called it a mistake.

"Nell," he says a little louder, "Nell!" Ever-composed Called is long gone. He wraps his knuckles on the door forcefully. Then it sounds like he's punching it. When he kicks it in frustration, she cries "Ow!" and he hears her stumble away from the door.

"I'm sorry Nell!" he calls, worried she's hurt.

"For which part? Almost kicking my door in or making me feel like an idiot?" she yells back through the door.

"If I wanted to kick your door down, it'd be down. You know I don't mean to make you feel like an idiot. I'm the idiot… Let me in, okay?"

"Can you please just go away?" she says sounding small and sad.

"I want to try to explain—"

"Will explaining change your answer or will it just to make you feel better?"

"My answer?"

"Am I still a mistake?"

"Nell, you're not a mistake. I'm saying I would be a mistake for you—"

"Go home, Agent Callen."

Staring at her dented door, he listens to her muffled cry for ten minutes before he does.

* * *

She's wanted to be in his arms like this forever. Kensi knows Deeks knows she's a romantic: Medieval Times, Titanic, waiting for Jack. She loves that he also knows better than to call her on it. Instead, he acts on it and doesn't comment. Wrapped up in his arms on his couch after the worst two weeks of a mission and the best night of dancing and kissing is more than she could have hoped for.

"So who slipped?" he asks. "Eric?"

"Nell, actually. Though it _was_ a slip. She mentioned you set up something for us Tuesday night, then immediately regretted saying anything."

"Are you mad at me?"

"For delaying an undercover op from the LAPD? Maybe a little."

He pinches her side playfully. "For leaving you alone right after we got you back?"

"Of course not," she knows he's been worried about her response or he would have told her at the hospital. "I'd be more upset if you turned them down."

"I tried that. A few times actually. But Hetty appealed to my sense of duty and told me she'd do everything needed to take care of you. Then she threatened un-liaise me, so I did the right thing."

"You gonna' be okay without backup?" she asks, nuzzling her face into his neck.

"Yeah, yeah, this is kid's stuff. Just happens to be my mug this guy remembers."

"You'll call Callen & Sam if you need them?"

"I will, but I won't need any backup."

"You'll call me if your backup needs back up?"

"Kens, you know Hetty's going to bench—" She pinches his side, but in a not-so-playful way.

"Oww, Oww, OW, Fern! Okay!"

He waits until she's settled down in his arms again to whisper, "you know I will."

At this, she raises up to kiss him once more. It's so strange, she thinks. She was sure if this **thing** ever happened, it would be fire meets ice. An explosion. Pent up passion released like a breach in a dam. But somehow it turned into this warm, comfy, perfect _relief_.

He's reading her mind, "I didn't think it'd be like this," he muses tracing his fingers down her arms.

"Oh yeah, hot shot? What'd you think it be like?"

"Bikinis, a fist-fight, you out-of-your-mind-jealous over some blond who wanted m—"

"Well, I did have a bikini for my cover."

He growls and says, "and instead of a fist-fight I got to shoot that asshole in the face."

She hugs him tighter then mimics his growl as she says, "and I do recall you dancing with some blond tonight."

"Hey, hey, hey… I was _grieving_. I thought you didn't want all of this," he motions to himself.

She snorts and says, "God help me, I do." This kiss hints of the passion that will come. He matches her intensity for a few minutes, but reluctantly pulls away.

"Hey Kens?"

"Yeah Deeks?" she says as she finds herself straddling his lap and kissing beneath his ear.

"Martyyou'reamoron," he mumbles before sitting upright and holding her away from his neck, "Um, well, I can think of a few reasons we shouldn't let this go any further."

She snorts again. "You can, huh? Care to share these reasons?" she says as she moves to his other ear.

"Uh, well, Princesss, you've had a rough couple of weeks."

"I can think of a way you could make me feel better," she whispers in his ear.

He takes a deep breath, "Okay, _I—I've _had a rough couple of weeks."

"Ooohh, want me to make _you_ feel better?"

"Argh! Kensi, I'm serious!"

"I can see that," she smirking while she uncoils from around him.

"It's not funny!"

"Isn't it? Just a little?"

"Kensi, please. Go back to your boring serious self for five minutes, okay?"

"Okay, now I'm boring?" she says with a scowl.

"How did I fuck this up?" he moans beneath his hands.

"Deeks, I'm kidding. You've got boring, sober Kensi for the next five. Ready? Go."

"Are you hurt?" he says looking her up and down. She knows what he means.

"No."

"What about when you were crying in the shower?"

"Emotional. Not physical."

"That counts too. Are you going to be okay?" _Without me for a week or four? Ever again?_

"I'm sure I'll miss your constant stream of upbeat chatter, but I'll live."

"Okay, now let boring-serious Kensi answer."

"I'll be fine. Not _fine_," she self-corrects, "Okay. I'll miss you, I'm a little on edge, but I'll be okay. I talk to the shrinks. Do their dance."

"Would you ask me to stay if you thought it would help you."

"Probably not," she says after a prolonged hesitation.

"Okay, that was honest. Thanks. I need you to be honest with this one too: Did I disappoint you?"

"No!"

"Not as a partner, Kensi. As a _man_. I know you were giving Nell the safe codes and that you're the best of the best , but were you _Kensi_ disappointed I _Marty_ didn't come in there and get you out sooner."

"No. Not after we found out about the second shipment of girls. Sam and I had to stick it out for their _lives_, Marty. Their lives."

They sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Are you disappointed in yourself?" she asks him tentatively.

"More than I've ever been in my life."

"You can't be! Not if I told you it was what I wanted. It was our duty to those girls, Marty."

"I'm loyal to one girl above all others."

"Well, she's flattered and thinks you're priorities are shit. Thank you for trusting me, though. Okay Deeks? Thanks for not barging in when you wanted to. I knew it would be hard for you. But it's over. We saved them, okay?"

He doesn't reply.

"Are you disappointed in me?" she asks wringing her hands.

"Of course not!"

"You're not ashamed of me? You don't think less of me?" she's watching her hands and doesn't see him swoop in to kiss her.

"Never, okay Kens? Like I said at the start, I would have preferred another way, but there's no way we would have found out about the second shipment. You had to be close to him."

"All right, serious Kensi is about to go away. Any last questions?"

"Yeah, I've got one," he says reclining and putting his hands behind his head. "Why tonight?"

They both knew it'd have to be Kensi who initiated this relationship. All parties knew Deeks had been on board for years, but he wasn't willing to push her to decide. Their partnership meant too much to him, to both of therm.

"I was overwhelmed with how much I missed you. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking about what you would say or do. How you would make me laugh. How you would keep me calm. How you would get me through the awful parts. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I realized I'd been kidding myself denying my feelings for you all these years on the second day."

His shocked expression at her honest answer was priceless.

"That answer everything, Sweetums? Good," she says as she leads him to his bedroom. "I can work with a speechless Deeks. We've got five hours before I have to turn you over to the LAPD."

* * *

**Well, Tuesday-ish. No new games. I didn't think you'd be in the mood after this up and down (and up again). Old games still in play.**


End file.
